Celebrating Juneteenth at Work
Celebrating Juneteenth at Work
Disclaimer: I debated with myself if I should share this publicly. These kinds of topics can get sticky when it comes to sharing controversial work experiences online. Ultimately, I decided I needed to express myself or it would consume me. In the case that my workplace is revealed, this blog is in no way a statement on behalf of my employer. Names have been changed.
I am sharing this experience to encourage everyone to reflect on our engagements at work and how they are, or are not, changing. I want us to recognize the disconnect between how we interact on social media versus how we interact at the workplace where we spend most of our waking time. SylviaPaints mission is to shift the focus back to people and these topics are at the forefront of our face to face “people moments”.
When I decided to write about my experience celebrating Juneteenth at work I realized how it played out like attempts at movie scenes. For ease of reading and comedic relief I broke up the experience into sections reminiscent of movie takes. Get your popcorn guys! The sections are as follows:
Current Societal Context
Juneteenth
My Day Job
My Experience Take 1
My Experience Take 2
My Experience Take 3
My Experience Take 4
My Experience Take 5
My Experience Final Take, 6
My Takeaways
Current Societal Context
2020 has been intense so far, particularly with racial relations. But as most Black people know, it’s this unspoken understanding that we are still not supposed to speak about the current racial events at work. At least not too loudly. We are expected to “keep the politics at home”. It doesn’t matter who was killed and who killed them. It doesn’t matter what injustices happened or who was denied their rights. Don’t talk about it at work. The conversation might not always be directly attacked by authority in the workplace but the energy is still there. The side eyes, changing of discussions, White people suddenly leaving the room or adjusting their interactions with you. Anything even remotely reminding White people of their guilt is just “unprofessional”. We are supposed to protect Whites from feeling uncomfortable about Black suffering. Even though WE are suffering and uncomfortable every day.
Several Black people even feel that it threatens their jobs to speak up about these topics, even when they are NOT at work. John Boyega, Star wars actor, recently spoke publicly at a protest in London on June 3rd. Before he proceeded to speak on police brutality he first felt the need to express the following unfortunate disclaimer.
“Look, I dont know if I’ll have a career after this but fuck that.”
Think of the significance of this statement. Black people are literally being murdered by police and if we voice an opinion about it, even outside of work, we have to deal with the possibility that we might lose our jobs over it! How crazy is that? (You can read more about his speech here.)
Juneteenth
So with last Friday being Juneteenth, the unofficial holiday marking the day of liberation of all Blacks in the Confederate states, I felt a little conflicted. (We have yet to all be truly liberated but that’s another story). Everything happening right now is encouraging Black people to speak our truth loudly. To live boldly about our experiences and be unapologetic about our history. Everything is saying to us - break out of that assumption that you need to be quiet about your culture. And at least on social media, that is fairly easy for me. But in real life being that bold in the workplace still feels wrong and takes a lot more guts. Just as Boyega felt he was risking his career to speak on it, I feel it’s risking my income just the same.
So as I drove to work on June 19th, 2020 and felt this strong spirit to loudly celebrate the occasion it directly conflicted with a lifetime of instruction on what was appropriate in the workplace. Which in turn sparked feelings of anger. Why is it so acceptable to boldly celebrate the 4th of July at work and Memorial Day and Presidents Day but I even have to THINK about the appropriateness of celebrating Juneteenth? Why is it okay to celebrate their historical holidays remembering political events or people but not ours. My job literally has entire thematic days for every occasion you can think of; Donut Day, Muffin Day, 60’s Day, Siblings Day, National Onion Rings Day for crying out loud! (ew). And yet, nothing at all was mentioned or displayed in anticipation for Juneteenth.
Especially with all the current events, I just felt that joyously celebrating Juneteenth was really necessary at this time. Celebration can have a healing affect and Black people need that right now more than ever.
My Day Job
I’m currently employed at a facility doing wellness screenings at the door, in protection against Covid19, and so I am usually the first face that employees see every morning. I take each person's temperature and monitor them signing in to be sure they document the correct information. Very monotonous work but I’ve appreciated that it’s given me an opportunity to be a smiling face for each employee first thing in the morning (even if it is concealed by a mask). It gives me multiple chances to make a healing difference in someone’s day even if that is just through a kind word or a good energy. And coworkers have been vocal about that difference!
The awareness of this impact that I can have on my peers, first thing in the morning, added another element to my conflicted thoughts about celebrating Juneteenth at work. This very small yet significant platform, prompted a sense of personal responsibility. I felt that I needed to take advantage of that pivotal point of the day and plant seeds of awareness in that moment.
The Experience - Take 1
As I thought about all of this on the morning of Juneteenth, someone walked in the door to be screened. I had full motivation to verbally greet this person with a bubbly “Happy Juneteenth!”. But when they reached my table, I completely froze and stuttered out something incomprehensible. I tried 2 more times, the last attempt almost hitting the mark with a flat “Happy June!”. How embarrassing, amiright? I’m usually very well spoken and sociable. So people’s confusion was evident in regards to my sudden speech problems and strange June greeting 19 days into the month *face palm*. I decided I needed a different approach.
The Experience Take 2
I pulled out a thick piece of paper and tri-fold it into a nametag orientation. On the front facing label I wrote in black permanent marker “HAPPY JUNETEENTH!” followed by a simple heart and placed it directly in front of me. Nothing too dramatic or loud. Nothing requiring that I work through my nerves about publicly speaking on the issue. But directly within eyesight to bring attention to the occasion presented with love and pride.
Simple, no thrills sign.
The first person to say something was a middle aged White lady:
“Oh I heard about that! It was on Facebook! They said we’re not supposed to spend
any money. For 2 days actually. I have it on my calendar in support!”
I realize she’s mistaken and referring to the upcoming Black Out Day on July 7th, 2020 organized by the rapper T.I. which has since been heavily promoted by others on various social media platforms.
I know I should correct her, but I just don’t. This White lady seemed so confident in her awareness and solidarity of what was going on. I didn’t have the heart to burst her bubble. Plus I still hadn’t worked through these weird nerves about speaking on it. I giggled and cheerfully responded “Yes that's a part of it!” I immediately screamed at myself mentally WHY DIDN'T YOU CORRECT HER ??. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t really lie. Blackout Day IS about empowering us and Juneteenth is also about empowering us, so it IS technically a part of it. AND if she is so excited about supporting the cause I probably shouldn’t interfere with her preoccupation with it. But who am I kidding, right? I just WHOLE lied to that White Lady and defeated my entire purpose. I realized that a written sign was not going to relieve me of the need to SPEAK on it. I started talking to myself practicing my speech for how I would educate people on the day's significance if I was asked again.
The Experience Take 3
At this point, it was still early in the morning before sunrise. I forgot that I was seated in a well lit glass foyer area that often obscures my vision of approaching people when it's not yet bright outside. In the middle of talking to myself out loud, a coworker yanked open the door and hollered “WHO YOU TALKING TO SYLV??!” I turned red with embarrassment. It’s a Black coworker and I considered being honest. I had a feeling she would understand. But when I opened my mouth to explain, I ended up lying again “Oh hey girl, I was just... singing”. She squinted her eyes and poked out her lips in a “yeah right” composure. To convince her otherwise, I awkwardly “resumed” what I was singing to her. Except singing didn’t come to mind. Without thinking the most random Nicki Minaj RAP lyrics came rushing out:
“Brought out the pink Lamborghini just to race with Chyna,
Brought the Wraith to China, just to race in China”
Why I began rapping a song about strippers, of ALL things, is just BEYOND me. But hey, it worked because she chimed in and finished off the bar in perfect Barb confidence. “Ayye” we both say before she goes on with her day no longer questioning wHo i wAs sPeAkiNg tO. I feel relieved but I think to myself what the hell Sylv?! It should not be easier to burst out into a rap song at work than it is to talk about Juneteenth. Why are you like this??
I started to feel a little ashamed. I thought I was further in my confidence with these kinds of topics, especially with how often I speak of it on social media. But speaking on it and SPEAKING on it are two different things. It’s easy to speak on it behind a screen and a keyboard. Face to face is entirely different. Even when I’m talking to a fellow Black person who will likely understand! I didn’t feel “woke” at all. Ha. I temporarily removed my sign until I could speak about it.
Soon enough though, I finally got it together. I prepared a light but informative response for the occasion that anyone asks about my sign. I wrote it out first and said it loudly a few times until it felt natural and rolled off my tongue before propping my sign back up. Yes, I am THAT much of a dork.
The Experience Take 4
Another coworker walked in - An older White male this time (because YES that matters) named Henry. I chirped out my usual morning greetings as he leaned in to get his temperature scanned. I saw his eyes avert down reading my sign and I feel my heart beating hard. I’m hoping he just doesn’t ask. I thought Please just google it after you leave the scanning area, my guy. But nope. Henry huffed out a laugh and said;
“uhh...I think you made a typo. Is that supposed to say June tenth miss lady??”
How condescending. And Is it really that unknown what day it is?? Are White people REALLY that removed from Black culture and history?? Clearly the day was the 19th so whyyyyy would I write a sign that was supposed to say Happy June 10th HENRY??? I was blown away but I focused on not allowing any irritation to show. These are the exact kinds of discussions that I know need to be discussed and if we have to work through these hurdles to talk about them then so be it. I took a deep breath as I observed his grinning face thinking he caught me in a mistake or something. I calmly respond,
“Ha, very funny. No its not supposed to say that, but I see the confusion. *insert fake
chuckle*. Juneteenth is actually the official day that all Black people were informed of their liberated status in all of the Confederate states in 1865. It wasn't until 2 years after the Emancipation Proclamation because the more remote places didn’t have enough representation in place to enforce the order until that point.
I said it as pleasant as I could, AND without stuttering (score!), but I noticed his face drop. He said “huh...interesting” and hurried out of the room. I attributed his awkward response to him probably feeling like an ass after acting so condescending when he thought he was correcting me. Serves him right!
The Experience - Take 5
But then the next White person came in and asked about it. Ms. Tina. She was so cheerful and interested when she first asked. But then, just like with Henry, I answered, her face dropped, she responded “oh” and awkwardly shuffled for the door. This happened with nearly every White person. They would have complete excitement and intrigue, thinking it was another thematic day at work that they missed, until I answered. At which point they would behave so strangely.
Being a true Libra, all about social grace and balanced engagement, this hurt me so bad. I like making people feel at ease when talking to me. I like people to like me - I know I shouldn’t care about people liking me but I don't care, I just do. I dislike conflict and confrontation. And here I was making all these people start off their day with such awkward energy.
To keep me motivated, I kept reminding myself that we are ALL still acclimating to having these conversations. I kept trying to convince myself that their responses were not based in racism or lack of care for Black culture and celebration. They just didn’t have the time to prepare like I did (because boy did I prepare). But it was tough keeping it up. It was starting to feel like an uphill battle that wasn’t really having a good impact. I questioned if maybe I was just being toxic after all.
The Experience - Final Take, 6
Finally one of the building managers, a White lady who I’ll call Mary, asked about the sign. I answered and to my surprise she actually maintained her level of intrigue and excitement. She asked a few more questions, THANKED me for educating her on it and said she was HAPPY she knew that now. That small response was so meaningful to me! Not because I aim for the validation of White people but because it gave me the confirmation that I got through to someone! That was my entire purpose of doing this. I could leave that day knowing I at least accomplished my goal with a single person.
Directly following this elevated interaction, another older White lady Barbara comes through to be scanned and almost brings me right back down. She refers to my sign with obvious contempt and mentions how all signage in the building has to be approved by an authorized manager. She frowns at it without even asking what it’s about (but she obviously knew). I tell her that I’ll be sure to contact an “authorized manager” as soon as there’s a break in people needing scanned in….But the gag is, there ARE NO such breaks. *cackles evil laugh*
Ironically enough Mary, the same lady who appreciated the awareness, is in charge of all signage in the building. She comes back about an hour later with a grim look. She started off speaking in this apologetic tone in regards to complaints about my sign and I already began to feel my blood boil. I couldn’t believe people would complain about this! At the same time, a part of me expected exactly that. I braced myself to hear her tell me that I had to take it down. I was fully ready to READ this entire establishment honey. But Mary completely surprises me and tells me she’d be willing to bring me a poster board and markers to make a larger sign if I wanted to!
This gave me the best feeling. I thought it was an excellent example of a White woman using her privilege and position of authority to effectively help a minority cause. Prior to this moment I felt alone in my mission to educate some people at my workplace. It felt like I was fighting to feel pride in celebrating something that wasn’t getting any recognition (despite 4th of July festivities already being advertised everywhere in the same building). But Mary showed me otherwise. We decided on using a bright yellow poster board with a simple “Happy Juneteenth!” message in black marker and placed in the central hallway where everyone would have no choice but to see it. It was epic.
My Takeaway
Sometimes I struggle with wondering how I can genuinely make a difference on racial issues but this day reminded me that epic changes do not usually just happen suddenly on their own. They start with small actions that have a snowball effect and lead to big changes. I chose to share the ENTIRE story to illustrate just how many obstacles, real or imagined, that I felt I had to overcome to display that small trifold sign and TALK ABOUT IT. So many of those moments could have been the one that I gave up but I chose to keep going and that led to a HUGE sign being displayed. And, again, this was just a small holiday sign we’re talking about. Imagine the layers of obstacles present if we’re talking about changing laws or altering police culture or removing corrupt officials from positions of power. Those layers start to feel like the ultimate goal is impossible but we can’t let ourselves be overwhelmed by that illusion.
I think we collectively need to start organizing to determine what kinds of actions we can take in real life, large or small, to make these changes. In this digital age, we can easily be caught up in being social media warriors. Don’t get me wrong, there’s power in simply sharing a message on social media too. But it gives us a warped view of how far reaching our awareness is. I don’t think some of us are realizing just how much social media itself is NOT actually creating the change. Social Media is a great tool for communicating and linking ideas but the vehicle for ideas shouldn’t be mistaken as the vehicle for change. Real change does not happen on Facebook.
The experience gave me the idea that maybe next year I could bring up Juneteenth in May to my employer to see if something even more substantial than a large poster sign could be done for the occasion. Or maybe research other historical days to plan events or activities around. We have to take charge in being the change we want to see. Witnessing so many people be clueless about a holiday that I genuinely thought was more known made me realize how far we have to go in educating each other.
Comment or contact me if you have any ideas for how we can take small actions that lead to big changes! And if you enjoyed this blog posting, be sure to check back for more!
Sylvia Sykes